Charlotte Ayleah

It has been a few weeks since I have had the time to write on this, heck the time to breathe. Since I am at Disney and the room is quite and I'm not sleep deprived, I thought I would pen or type my first message to my lil heart, that is Charlotte.

To my baby...

I have a new song that ring in my spirit and even bring me to my knees when I think about you baby. For 9 months, I talked to you, sang, yelled, and even poked you, because I so wanted to hold you. I am so externally grateful for you health, your smile, you cry, and the opportunity to hold you. I am so glad mommy is doing fine and that God allow her confession about you, to ring true. You were here early, safe, absolutely stunning, and by natural birth.

Now I am not a crying man or even very sensitive but the phase "babies change everything," has held true in our house. You have come in and mommy and daddy have had to work together, take the minutes we can together and make them special. Remember everything worth auguring about are really not important, and continue to ask God for wisdom.

The song that came to my spirit in the last few weeks leading up to you birth is by Tenth Avenue North and titled, By your side. It breaks down into so many different parts for my emotions for you, mommy, and God.


Why are you striving these days?
Why are you trying to earn grace?
Why are you crying?
Let me lift up your face

Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love?
Why are you still searching?
As if I'm not enough?
To where will you go child,
Tell me where will you run?
To where will you run?

These lyrics hit me hard because I feel like I know what I'm doing and I could not be more wrong during delivery. If not for me relaying on God, I would not have been able to coach/help mommy in her time, be calm enough to make a few correct decision about the process, and breathe, lol. But more than that, the last few weeks were hard because when you are blessed, you think to yourself... I got it all. Insurance is their for the baby, a nice house, time to take off work, and not have to worry about anything. You can't pay for grace... I came back to the fact that God is my source.


Here at my side wherever you fall
In the dead of night whenever you call
Please don't fight these hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you

And I, I love you
And I want you to know
That I, I'll love you
I'll never let you go

Charlotte, these word took the wind out me because, I was just singing them and wrong (might I add), throughtout your womb experience.. then one night I heard the correct words and... the breakdown! Baby C, I.. we will be here for you as best as we can. But even then, God is always there for you. Your not really ours to keep, but I hope we do enough to keep you safe, and in the right direction. I won't make the right calls every time, but I hope the good calls out weigh the bad ones. It is such a joy to see you when I get home, and to see the joy you put in mommy's heart, makes me so happy. I call you blessed, and will only speak good things into your life.

Wow, this post was really hard!! Anyway, I love to see the reasons for the lyrics of songs. Timing is everything in God!


By Your Side’ is just a call to anyone who’s struggling or fighting against God thinking they have to work to earn it. It’s calling them to stop looking for what you can do for God and fix your gaze upon what God has done for you. Let that motivate you. We love because He first loved us.” - Mike Donehey (Tenth Avenue North)

TGBTG