Thanksgiving

This week will be filled with thoughts and fasting going into Thanksgiving! I've got so much to be thankful for this year and I still feel like what daddy has for me to do is being held up because of something my flesh will not let me do.

I feel like my heart is hurting because I want to do so much for my family and others however, I want to do it on my time and my way. It hurts sometimes to do it his way... it hurts my ego, feelings, and even makes me swallow some much needed pride. Because of things that I have not taken care of I have been struggling with things, I feel God should have given me.

I know that is why I don't have a son yet, or why I am still dealing with the division in my family. Why I am in the position I am in or just the place I am spiritually with God. The dreams I have dreamt have shown me things I should have done, people I could have talked to, and you know the mess up part about it all... God has not destroyed me yet for my disobedience.

That alone is why I am so grateful for the blood and what God has done for me so far. The protection of my house and family... the strength of my wife... the development of my little girl... and the peace he has given me over and over. I swear if it was not for all the seed we have in the ground...

Ahh,
D~